Vigilante justice

In my experience, Polish drivers aren't necessarily the worst drivers nor are they the definition of unsafe. Insane, rude, inconsiderate ...yes, ok. Also maybe unsafe. Yes, definitely unsafe. But not necessarily bad drivers.

A bad driver is someone who didn't realize they were going to cause an accident or someone who didn't know they were breaking the law even though even an eel would have realized it's completely illegal to turn left out of that lane.

No, Polish drivers are simply rude. A product of the MTV, I-only-care-about-me-so-fuck-you generation? Well, I don't think so. MTV is more of a recent phenominon here and, in fact, people in government are just now picking up on how one of the Teletubbies might be a homo. So they're a bit behind the times in the TV department. They're not bad drivers: they know they are going to cut you off. They know it's illegal to turn there. They know the light was red. ...They just don't care.

So, what going on here? Why is this the way it is? Well, I'm glad I put those questions in your mouth because it just so happens that I think I have the answers. I wish it was something like MTV because that'd be easy. No, I'm afraid there are lots and lots of reasons why things have gotten as bad as they are and it sure as hell ain't the Teletubbies' fault.

There are many reasons.

1. Not enough cops.
2. Cops can be bribed for less than the fines.
3. Fines are behind the times.
4. Cops openly ask for bribes.
5. Cops don't have enough oversight in order to prevent bribes.
6. Cops aren't paid well enough in order to help prevent the need for bribes.
7. Due to the above six items, people flaunt the law, knowing that they probably won't be caught and if they are they can probably bribe a cop. The odds are good that acting like a dick will pay off.
8. Other motorists take it in stride, strangely enough.
9. Unlike Britain and perhaps the US, most everyone else has not mastered the art of queuing. Note that this is not being patient. It is queuing which is something entirely different.
10. There are speed cameras but I've never seen one flash, nor has anyone else. Ergo, they aren't used and are thus mostly ignored.
11. There is a culture of blame: it's not the speed, alcohol, unsafe driving, talking on the phone, or lack of a seatbelt that killed my boy, it's that tree that jumped out into the road!
12. There is a cultural inferiority complex: Like most drivers everywhere, Poles want to be Master and Commander. Death Before Yielding and First Off the Line are all to often the mottos of young and, lets face it, male drivers in small, underpowered cars. They assume that by acting like a dick that they are somehow more in control of everything and thus better than their European counterparts. This also explains the profusion of somewhat elderly Mercedes and BMW's that populate the roads.

I propose:

1. Raising all the fines by 1000%. This would make the average fine well in excess of the average person's monthly salary. We're trying to make it unaffordable to be a dick and to give cops a living wage. Also, this will pay for a raise for cops.
2. Video cameras in all police cars that are on 100% of the time while an officer is on duty and are randomly checked. We're trying to curb corruption here.
3. Ticket quotas for at least two years but ONLY after number one and two have been implemented for awhile. Once cops are honest quotas can be enforced without fear of abuse but there will always be the courts to balance out this power.
4. Colour the speed cameras flourescent yellow and orange and give them a tolerance of 3 km/hr. Then put some damn film in the cameras. Use these inconjunction with fast courts and/or incontestable cases.
5. Fire all uncooperative, corrupt or lazy cops.
6. One year suspension of licenses for 2-times-in-2-months offenders. Five year suspension of licenses if the offender offends once within one year of getting their license back. Lifetime suspension if once within one year after that. The standard 1000% fines (roughly 2,000 - 10,000 PLN per offense) would also apply.
7. One year suspension of license of anyone that causes an accident. Fine: 25,000 PLN. Immediate 50% payment or liquidation of home/property to cover the fine.
8. Five year suspension of license when anyone is caught drunk driving. Fine: 50,000 PLN. Immediate 50% payment or liquidation of home/property to cover the fine.
9. Lifetime suspension of license when anyone causes an accident while drunk driving. Fine: 500,000 PLN and immediate 50% payment. Immediate 50% payment or liquidation of home/property to cover the fine.
10. Driving while your license is suspended: 5 years jail time with no chance of suspended sentence or early parole. Lifetime driving ban. 1 million PLN fine and 800 hours of roadside cleanup (approximately 2 years of weekends).

Draconian? Severe? Why yes, it is. The response is proprortional to the situation. It is PROPORTIONAL. Only through crushingly unbelievable punishment - or threat thereof - can we curb these anti-social behaviors. How do I know I'm right?

Norway.

Do these fines work? They sure do. Having spent nearly a week driving in Western and Eastern Norway at a variety of times and on a variety of roads I can attest that the following are fact:

1. Drivers rarely, if ever, speed. The typical speeding excess is between 5-7 km/hr.
2. Drivers don't tailgate (it's unsafe driving, a ticketable offense).
3. Drivers rarely overtake.
4. There are quite a few cops around.
5. There are even more speed cameras around.
6. Norwegians are well aware of the penalities and the common response is, "We can not afford to speed."